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"Don't drink a Tom Collins. That's just SO junior high."

Thanks for teaching me well, mom.

"Make sure she stays in bed and pump her full of fluids."

This was advice regarding my girlfriend, who had a really bad cold. After it was said, there was a very long pause. As my grin got wider and wider, she said "You know what I meant!"

Well, it was good advice. Seventeen years later, here I am at the tail end of a really, really bad cold. Being sick SUCKS, but old advice still works. Rest and fluids (and chicken soup too)

Simple, but to the point. every time i left the house she was sure to say "Wear a condom."

While sitting in the kitchen with my mom as she prepared a squash for dinner, we were chit chatting about boys. I was probably around 18 at the time. Regarding boys and their bodies, she said to me if "it" looked like this (referring to the squash) run away.

Who cares what other people think when most of them don't have a brain...

if you ever find yourself in trouble..kick 'em in the nutz and run!

When you get arrested don’t call me, I’m not bailing you out

Always trust your instincts (except with boys)

"Never be afraid to zig and zag." She told me that back in high school, and hasn't stopped.

"When life gives you shit...

*long pause, as she realizes this is not quite how it goes*

...well, you make shit-ade, I guess."

If someone advertises themselves as a good, honest *___input religion here___*, you know what they aren't.

*meaning in order to win your trust*

"I'm not here to tell you what you should do, listen to your heart... but don't come back crying after you get VD's"
(she's a gynecologist, best advise ever!)

joel

"Why don't you go splash some cold water on your face?" This was my mother's solution for everything.

"I trust you."

She said that for everything. Like the time I first brought a girl home to meet her, as I was leaving for a party, or before I left for college. She never needed to finish the thought ;).

Michael

or how about "are you hungry?" when you're irritable. every mother says that!

*that wasn't an entry i was just laughing about it - fyi*

"Don't listen to your father."

My mom and dad seem to play opposite roles. My mother is the laid-back one and my father is the well-meaning nag who tells us to get married, have kids, become a lawyer/doctor/accountant. etc. at every possible chance.

Her advice to every scape and broken heart,

"It will feel better once it stops hurting."

Always made me laugh.

"If life were fair, birds wouldn't eat worms"

Never engage in a battle of wits with an unarmed opponent.

No matter how down in the dumps you are, never wear a matching sweatsuit out in public - it will only make you more depressed.

Best advice my mother ever gave me:

When I was 16, I was dating a guy with little to no ambition, but he wanted me to go to bartending school and buy a bar and we could 'manage' it together.

My mother said "have you ever seen a 60 year old bartender? It's not that pretty."

As I am finishing the last year of my MFA, I am so glad she used the 'non-pressure' form of advice. The guy is gone, I would have hated being a bartender/owner, and I haven't forgotten this.

When my mom was teaching me to drive she always said the following.If you see a ball roll into the street, there's always a child behind it. I think of that still. She'll be 85 soon.

Well, when I was in High School I was on my way out the door with a date (keep in mind, this was a *first* date with this girl) and my dear sweet mother said...

"Remember son, Keep your pecker in your pants and your hands to yourself."

Yes, she's that awesome of a Mom.

when i was 13 my mom said "sex causes pimples.... just look at [insert name of high school slut]".
said high school slut had really bad acne.
she seriously made me wonder for a year or two.

My mom's best advice was to not be afraid to get my hands dirty- you can always wash them clean again. This translated both literally and figuratively, and certainly ended up influencing how I live my life. She was/is my creative influence, the woman who taught me how to cook, craft and thrift while simultaneously instilling a love of learning and reaching beyond what I thought was possible. I mean, what other 9-year old kid was in the kitchen learning how to cook risotto? I couldn't ask for better advice and plan to give the same to my kids one day.

If you go out please keep your coattails down. If you absolutely have to have sex, please go to a motel and don't bring that back here.

(When I turned 21): "Only order drinks with umbrellas. Then no one can drug you."

Well....I never got roofed.

"no cheap shoes and no cheap liquor. they'll both hurt you in the end." Brilliant and true.

Mom would always tell me to, "Always look out for the people around you, since everyone needs help now and then."

Such a mom!

On my 21st birthday, after I had been a bartender for a year (which was not a secret) my dad told me, "now that you're going to start drinking, boys might try to take advantage of you." Mom nodded her head and wisely chimed with her own advice, "be careful, it will take fewer drinks than you think before you start to feel a little tipsy." I didn't think much of that advice then because I had already been drinking for a couple of years, but now that I'm older I realize that she's exactly right.

My mom always says, "To thine own self be true."

"Every asshole on the street has advice you don't want or need. But every so often, someone says something that makes sense. So listen to your mother. She knows the shit from the shine."

My mom once said "everyone deserves your respect." Remembering that bit of advice has helped me keep my cool in many situations.

"they're probably just jealous."

for years, i thought this sounded so one sided of her. it sounds like something out of mean girls or something. OF COURSE she thinks everyone is jealous of her kids! mom's tend to think their kids are perfect. but i came to realize that much of the social junk i faced had little to do w/ me.

it made me realize that people can take their own issues out on you. it's important to face their opposition w/ peace & understanding. & we should never take it personally.

i was a major hippie/counterculture radical in the bay area at the height of the haight, when my mother said to me:
"you REALLY should stop smoking all that pot...and start selling it."

"Look with your eyes, and not your mouth." She's been telling
me that for as long as I can remember.

"Don't worry about getting married; work hard to buy your own house and then keep it in your name."

This was really surprising advice from my 100 year-old grandmother. She had a long and happy marriage, but she saw how the world has changed for women since she was young. Pretty open-minded coming from a normally very traditional lady, I thought.

"The Lord takes care of fools and babies."

Said when I had done something incredibly stupid, but escaped serious consequences.

Don't be miserable, life is too short.

Mom always says (metaphorically of course): "Take care of dipping your tongue in your brain before you say anything". It works.

When I was 12 my mother came into my room, sat on my bed, and told me :
"Parents don't have to know everything."
Smartest words to say to a teenager, I think.

I used to complain about girls that would tease me and laugh at me.
"Kill 'em with kindness," she'd say. I thought she was soooo NOT with it and didn't understand, but as an adult I think about that all the time now when people are being rude or mean, and I *try* to do just that. Most of the the time...it works! Who knew? Mom was right.

when she passed down her good silver to me, my grandmother looked me in the eye and begged me to use it everyday. she said, "i regret not using this more. i loved it, but i saved it for special occasions. why did i do that? life is too short to wait for special occasions. just be happy today."

this is especially valuable advice for me, as i typically have a tough time "just being." i love her for being so vulnerable with me.

I have this problem where I always say "If only". My mom's would then say:

"If the dog hadnt stop to lick his butt he would have caught the rabbit".

I think about that when I start to regret things I'v done.

"You make your own luck." I have remembered this for twenty years since she first said it and given this advice to other people frequently. It got me through all the times in my life I felt unlucky, unloved or stuck, because it made me believe that I always had the power to change my situation and make things better, and it helped me to know my mother always believed in me. Today I feel incredibly lucky to have built a life that makes me happy, and to know I did that myself. Thanks, Mom.

"Every time there's a bathroom break, go. Even if you think you don't need to."

"You need someone more decisive." Words spoken in 1998 to me by my mom hours after flying to the West Coast for a visit and to meet my then-boyfriend.

Her words caused me to stop, set aside the giddiness of infatuation, and really look at the man I was dating to see what she saw, and found she was right. If I'd married him, I would have been the one making decisions and doing the leading - when I really want to be partners in the relationship who are moving forward together.

Those five words have echoed in my head often in the last nine years. I have a strong, confident personality and know now that what is best for me is a person at least a smidge stronger/decisive than Mr. Wrong-for-Me 1998.

I'm still looking. But I'm not settling.

If you need to tell someone off, say it but never, ever, write it down.

In these days of myspace and blogs, I remember that advice. I'll tell you where to shove it, but you'll never have it in writing. Thanks Mom!

When your on a date pay attention to how he treats the waitperson. It's how he'll treat you down the road.

It's so true. My last boyfriend was always very rude and talked down to waitresses and complained about everything. But I overlooked it because he was so nice to me. Until he started taking me for granted... then I was treated just like them.

Whenever I would call my mom upset and sad, her advice was always to "go find someone to serve". She promised me that if I did something nice for someone and think of a way to help others, I would forget my sadness. And you know what it always worked. Helping others makes you feel good! I still use this advice today!

Never one to run with the crowd, instead of the ubiquitous "because I said so," my mother responded to "Why?" with: "Because I'm bigger, meaner, and uglier than you, that's why."

Without a doubt, "Consider the source."

This has served me well when faced with everything from middle school gossip to years of reading literary criticism to the whirl of advertising messages that seem to be everywhere. It rings out whenever I'm about to take something at face value, or accept something just because it has a patina of authority.

Reading all these bits of autobiography and mother wisdom has been such an unexpected delight.

"Don't wish your life away" -- I think we all go through life wishing we were older or wishing for the end of the week so we can relax. Wishing for a new day everyday will result in you waking up one day without having ever fully enjoyed the ones that came before it. So, she is right. Enjoy every day and don't wish your life away. Because once you are 16, or graduated, or married, or retired--you only wish that you could go back and be all those things again.

"When you are considering moving into a new neighborhood, call the local police department and get the crime statistics on the area. Not only important information in general, but if it is a somewhat sketchy place you can expect your car and renter's insurance to rise - considerably."

"You only live once, so don't take yourself too seriously and always be willing to laugh at yourself" She probably only said that out loud once or twice, but she lives it. The one thing I want to pass on to my kids that my mom taught me, more than anything else she's taught or given me is a house full of laughter and the ability to not take yourself too seriously.

Mom's best advice when feeling sad:
"Put some blueberries and walnuts in your cereal, honey. It's such a happy way to start the day."

"Don't be afraid to go out on a limb, because that is where all the apples are."

and

"Whether you think you can, or you thing you can't, you are right."

These two have stuck with me for years, probably because she gave them to me on notecards, and I taped them to my fridge to keep them forefront in my mind. Thanks, mom!

muro.lamere, what a wonderful thing to say!
It reminds my of a coworker I used to have - an older single woman, she had had many wealthy suitors in her younger days and lived pretty glamorously. She received all kinds of lovely jewelry from them, and had also had some from her family - great big beautiful art deco stuff, jewel-encrusted and all that.
But she only ever wore it on very very special occasions.
Later in life she hit on some hard times, and had to pawn all that beautiful jewelry off. When she was there, she realized so many of those things she'd only worn once or twice, and now she'd never be able to wear them again. She told me, "Use all your beautiful things - because every day is a special occasion, if you make it so."
When I later inherited my grandma's huge, gorgeous, over-the-top 1930's topaz necklace (still my only "real" piece of jewelry), I remembered her advice. I don't wear it to football games or anything, but putting it on and going to work or out for drinks makes me feel like the day really is special, and I think of her and my grandma both.
Sorry, that was totally rambling, but hearing that just made me get all weepy and remember what great advice that really is.
(ps, that' not my entry, just sharing!)

"If wishes were horses, then beggars would ride."

"Not everyone's going to like you."

Very helpful from childhood and throughout life.

These are not Mom’s exact words, but it captures the gist of what she said: “Happy people go after what they want; they don’t sit around waiting for it to come to them…”

At the time my Mom said this in regards to one of my high school birthdays, which I felt had been a dud. She pointed out that if an individual has specific desires for her Birthday Party, she either needs to plan it herself or tell her friends and or family (with tact) what she'd like to do to celebrate. If she just “hopes and expects” people to read her mind and make her wishes magically come true, she’ll likely be disappointed. I’ve found that this same advice applies to much more in life than birthday parties!

"I know you'll end up with someone kind, but find a partner that will be your best friend, and never marry a someone who doesn't make you laugh...or can't beat you at Scrabble. You'll get bored."

I'm a total word freak, so this resonates with me. Not long ago, she told me she could never grow old with someone who couldn't make her laugh, and she knew that's the case with me as well...but she also added some an observation about me personally...I love playing games and matching wits, so she pegged me there.

I'm not married, but her advice is useful in dating and in creating relationships in general. I think of it when picturing how well our relationship will flourish down the road.

My Mom says:

It's nice to be important. but it's more important to be nice.

"You have to let boys touch you before you get married."
That, and her honey/lemon cold remedy that I drink whenever a cold's on the horizon.

My mother always said, "A woman who *goes* with many different men is like the tomatoes at the top of the heap at the market. They get felt up and squeezed by everyone, and finally, are the first to go bad. At the end of the day, they're the ones that aren't picked."
A lot of things are lost in translation from the original dialect, but that stayed with me when I left for college and still scares the heck out of me today. Who wants to be the rotten one who's not picked?

"never stop watching yourself from the side"

I always think of that whenever I see self-importance or just a general lack of self-awareness. The ability to see yourself from the outside is crucial!

"they can't eat you," which my mom passed down to me from her father.

this was her response to many adolescent social trials and tribulations. i can't convey how well this succint, humorous, and completely apt saying has served me throughout my life.

my mama..... only recently in life are we on good terms, but one thing she's said to me many many times has always stuck...it's been good for all times: problems w/ mental illness in the family, with death, with school, work, play, hard times, good times, so-so times, boring times, traumatic times, lovely times.....it's the best catch-all advice i've ever received:



"a life without problems is no life at all"

"this too shall pass." simple and to the point, which is usually the best advice.

Do not get married until you are 30. Go out, live your life and figure out who you are as an individual.

"Every pot has a lid"

Her quote following a terrible date when I declare I'd rather be single. My response - what if I want to be a lidless pot?

(Me, at age 17, my mother trying to tell me to go with the flow)

Hon, it's ok that you made a stupid mistake. You're a teenager. Teenagers are made to be stupid. Don't get me wrong, I LIKE teenagers, but they're inherantly stupid to the core. Honest. When I was a teenager, I was stupid. How do you think you ended up being here?

*sigh* such a good pep talker, that woman.

"Get off the cross, we need the wood!"
:)

"You will learn to drive a stick shift first... it accomplishes two things. It means that later on in life when you have to drive a friend home drunk... no matter what kind of car they have, you can drive it. And secondly cars that are stick shift usually have smaller back seats and are much more difficult to get pregnant in."

Fortunately for me, my mother was right. Learning to drive a stick was the best thing I ever learned. (and i never got pregnant!)

When I was 15: "Don't wear all that eye makeup."

When I was 30: "You need to wear more eye makeup."

The advice from Mom I actually took: "Do what you love and you'll never work a day in your life."

"Don't ever forget, dear: You can marry more money in five minutes than you can make in a lifetime."

- c

The advice I've followed from my Mom:
"Never go to bed angry".
I've never gone to bed angry at my husband. If I'm angry with somebody else I make peace with them, even it's just in my own mind, before I shut my eyes. It helps me sleep better and it's nice to wake up without that negativity.

"Don't sweat the small stuff"

I tend to get stressed about insignificant things such as not having freshly cleaned floors or an un-made bed. My mom once told me this phrase and now any time I find myself getting worried about dirty dishes in the sink or a full hamper of dirty clothes I tell myself not to sweat the small stuff. Life it too short and there are too many things to do and see than to worry about small stuff.

the best support and advice from my mother was no advice at all: when I went to college and chose a major I adored (but could never, ever get a job with), she never said "maybe you should look into have a back-up plan". And then, when I started to look for grad schools in this same major, she didn't say "this will be a giant waste of your money and time". She let me realize that following the thing I love, even if it wasn't practical, was worth doing. And when I came around to see that $250k in student loans for a esoteric degree would not be worth it, she never once has said "I told you so".
Sometimes, the best advice is none at all.

My mom, a woodworker, gives the same piece of advice to both carpenters and her children: "You can't change the grain of wood no matter how much you paint or polish." It has proven quite useful over the years not only in design work but more importantly when dealing with other people or even myself.

My mother anticipated the Women's Movement by decades. Both my parents pitched in with everything, from earning a paycheck to painting the walls to washing and drying mountains of dishes in tandem. They may not have been quite in sync with the neighbors at times -- especially during the 1950s -- but that didn't seem to bother them unduly.

One day, during that stretch of late childhood when girls tend to preen and giggle and study their mirror-images incessantly, I became vaguely aware that my parents were running around rather frantically, caught up in last-minute preparations for a dinner party at our house. As my harried mother sped past with the salad plates, she caught sight of me perched contentedly in my favorite armchair -- garbed in my prettiest party dress and dreamily admriing the shine of my patent leather mary janes. It was then that she called out some cheery words of advice which have guided my life for more than forty years now: "Hey there, kiddo -- Make yourself useful as well as ornamental!"

Get enough sleep. If necessary, use an alarm clock to remind you to go to bed.

My mother told me,

"A girl is like a flower, and a boy is like a butterfly." The butterfly searches for the flower but not the other way around. In other words, she didn't want me, a girl, to be go after other guys when they should be calling me instead.

And look what butterflies I've attracted! I won't say I'm single because I took her advice because, of course, I didn't. I just wish dating were easier and that all the "butterflies" I attract weren't creeps!

Love everyday

My Mom told me,

"You can't get 'Mr. Lee' without mystery."

I am Asian and my Mom wants me to marry but she doesn't want me to get a man by dressing provocatively. Thus the advice was given in a unforgettable rhyme.

Well, this is kind of embarrassing but she said, "Change your underwear at least once a day." I think I was 4 or 5 and was protesting everything...even changing my underwear.

My mother would always say "Anybody can be nice when they want to be." (with an unspoken, understood) "Being nice when you don't want to be is what counts." to remind me that good behavior following bad (usually that of a boyfriend) can be suspect.

The advice my mom gave me is how she herself lives life...since she is the best person I know, following the advice is a no brainer!

"Concentrate on being a good person in all areas of your life, as a result, everything else will fall into place."

I love my mom, she is one hot shit.

"Do not stress about things or situations you can not change."

I never understood this, until recently. I always thought that i had the power to change anything i wanted.
It took recent world events to make me realise...
If your plane is going to crash...it will
If someone wants to steal your posessions...they will
If someone wants deperately to blow up the building you are in, or shoot you then they will...

You never know what is comming up next, so enjoy what you have and cherish each and everyday... and dont worry about the things you cannot change.


the best advice i ever got :)

before i left for college, my mom got a brochure in the mail from my future university and it said that parents should talk with their children about drinking and drugs before they leave.

so she sat me down one day and said, "don't drink the punch. and you can try anything once...just don't get addicted."

it worked.

"The more you follow your gut (instincts) , the easier it will be to do it the next time."

One evening during college, I was on the phone with my mom talking about some minor melodrama that had me in a stew. I asked her advice, and she said, "Katherine, be bold."

I can't now remember exactly what it was we were talking about, but perhaps that's the point.

My mother told me to bring a small tool kit to college including a hammer and picturing hanging nails because that way I'd make lots of friends quickly.

In my youth, I was becoming a drunken idiot and waking up with one too many hangovers (the joys of drinking at 18 in Canada). One night after a great binge I came home and my mother was still up. I lamented about how my friends could drink more than I could as she made me some food. Being the great mum that she is, she thought about this and offered this"

"The reason why you can't enough is that you never go to the bathroom enough normally or drunk. So pee some more so you can drink some more."

I love my mum.

"take the needle out of your arm" - in other words, quit kidding yourself, when i say something that we both know is probably not based in reality.

"Everything changes," my mother said. "Be flexible."

Less universally applicable, she said, "You should be in show business." PAUSE. "But not as a singer."

I followed her advice much to the entertainment world's relief, I'm sure.

WATCHING Mom live her life everyday was the best advice I have ever received. She was an example of what to do EVERYDAY. Dad died in a plane crash and Mom was left to raise 6 kids (oldest freshman in college and youngest (me) 6 mos. old).

If I had to share one thing she taught me... Be a "Do-er" in life.

Oh! This one is much better...I submit this: If you don't feel like doing something at the moment Fake It and the rest will come.

My mother took care of puppies with rickets when she grew up in an orphanage during the DEPRESSION, and she said, "NEVER GIVE UP HOPE."





(I get my sense of humor from my dad. Sorry.)

My mom was physically handicapped and in a lot of pain because of arthritis. However, she sewed, delivered meals to the elderly, and traveled with my dad until she died. I asked her once why she continued to do so much even though people told her to slow down. She looked at me and said, "I plan to live until I die. Not just take up space and stare at the scenery."

It is still my benchmark for a good life.

Regardless of how poor you and if you can't afford really nice furniture, art etc, are you can always keep your house clean and that in itself is priceless. - Mom

When I moved away for college:

"No tattoos.
No piercings.
Stay away from sailors."

"I'll always be your best cheerleader."

Said during a frustrating job hunt... I knew she would always be there for me when I needed it. And she always has!

ALWAYS CARRY A RESUME, she said.

Man, has that paid off a few times in my life, figuratively and literally!

My mom always said: "Sooner or later we all quote our mothers." -- Looks like she was right (as usual!)

I moved across the country last year and my mom told me to get a plane ticket to come home for Thanksgiving instead of having a friend visit me here. The first two weeks I was here, when I called her crying 6 times a day, she never once said "I told you so."

"If you don't have champagne, cheap wine will do."

This saying works in so many situations. My mom helped me learn to be happy with what I have, and to utilize what I have to work with, whether it be food, money, or the craft supplies in my closet.

"Shoot me if I ever end up like my mother, will you?"